HAPPY NEW YEAR + NEW YORK I'M COMING + OH NO I'M OLD

Happy new year first of all to everyone in Singapore and well, everyone across the pond. I am here in San Francisco typing this on my little sad blog, reminiscing.

1) A Level results (yay Jiawen, yay me, yay Janjan, yay Hweeying, yay Kai, yay Berly, yay Ong, yay everyone)

2) Play hard (hello Q are you reading!) + Paint hard (davido-kun)

3) Dengue fever + Typhus Fever = - 8 kg and immediately +10 kg (SO WHAT'S THE POINT)

4) Surprise party at my house (yes the one that I went nuts at)

5) Leaving for SF (greener grass? I don't know yet)

6) Interior Architecture and Design + Merchandising = Killer and satisfying at the same time

7) First time meeting crazy Indonesians with Birkins and Bentleys at age 17

8) First time meeting a hot teacher! (no likey likey anymore)

9) My good friend lost someone close to her. Noone knew how to deal with it, but she's coping well (yay)

10) LA trip to visit my cousins. First of many trips I think.

11) My sister announces she is getting married in July next year!

12) All throughout the year missing Singapore and friends

In fact, I miss Singapore so much, that my friends here (those from Singapore too) are meeting up at some Singaporean restaurant for some chicken rice loving this afternoon. 

What I think/hope 2008 will look like:

1) FUN IN NEW YORK TO KICK OFF MY SEMESTER/YEAR (hoi Xinky)

2) Better grades

3) Weight loss

4) Sister's wedding

5) Trips to Jakarta since now I have friends (nanny nanny poo poo)

6) SINGAPORE SINGAPORE SINGAPORE

7) Good food in Indonesia

8) My friends coming here to visit!!

Okay I'm tired. Good luck with your resolutions, everyone.

It is all a matter of timing

Have been watching too many DVDs, my eyes hurt.

"You said 'I do'! I guess that means we're married".

Sarah Jessica Parker once told Vanity Fair,

"If you're a nice person and you work hard, you get to go shopping at Barneys. It's the decadent reward".

I hate to be quoting celebrities on the merits of Barneys. But I must.

Yesterday I was in there, and put on the most flattering, well-fitting garment I have ever encountered in my whole entire life. What could I have done but purchase it even at the risk of being evicted by my landlord for inability to pay rent? Well to be honest there were lots of things I could have done, but I thought I could wear it on one of my sister's parties. Maybe her engagement party. Or the dinner at home. Whatever. 

All I want for New Year is a Saudi prince with oil mines.

Mogwai Holiday

Listening to songs that make me a bit happy/high/delirious. The very songs that drive people to slit their wrists. All my friends love these songs, no?

And again, we must give it to the Americans once more! For astute businessmen. For entrepreneurial ideas. I love Netflix (I know Val and Q will too). So you pay a monthly subscription fee and you can rent DVDs for however long you want, and depending on what plan you subscribe for. So anyway I subscribed for the 3-DVDs-at-a-time plan, and I pay 16.99 only!!!!! AND their selection is great, they so far have 98% of the movies I've always wanted to see but never got the chance to. And right now I am surfing the freaking library to keep my Queue full! And my DVDs are supposed to arrive tomorrow.

I know that I am turning into the kind of people who talk about shit no one really gives a flying fuck about. It is also a good front for pretending I have a life, which I don't. When I did have (kind of) a life in Singapore, I used to be more involved in writing about more brain numbing/stimulating topics. However, the opposite is true for now. Everything is in a state of decay. Without exercise, my brain will atrophy.

Not making the effort though. I can't even be bothered to subscribe to newspapers here. I have a lot to learn, and not enough determination to learn. About local and national politics. There are simply too many things to take in. In this state, this is what's happening. The neighboring state is more than likely to experience a radically different situation. ARGH not like Singapore everything is.. Everything. You know? There is only One truth. That is That. 

Once again, I (unsuccessfully) attempt to delve into something deep, something my lone brain cell cannot grasp properly.

Good for both of us (my single brain cell and me), because tomorrow is Boxing Day, a day commonly associated with sales all over the city. I am taking me and my brain cell out shopping tomorrow. Although there is nothing to dress up for, I must stock up for winter, not unlike storing food for winter.

Finally Finals

  So finals are over!! The downside is that I have noone here at the moment. I am going to be terribly lonely, and walking around town alone, having meals alone (hopefully I get too lazy to eat by myself and will lose some weight).Pictures?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                          from left to right.

1) Happy birthday Sonja one day before Brent's final project was due. We died, and her 23rd birthday was spent in the Interior Architecture building.

2) Cupcakes from Safeway.

3) My interior project. The bloody Blogger won't let me upload my outdoor project.

4) Misato and Jennifer being bad asses.

5) Sonja is white as snow. Transparent bitch. And I was freezing (think you can tell)

6) Sketching class is huge and I don't know even half of their names, I only know er abt 7 people. But good class nonetheless.

7) Posing in class pretending we were all done with our work.

8) Stacia and Awan in my room? Cue the messy wardrobe.

9) Sonja in the cold of Cheesecake Factory balcony. And going back to Reykjavik :(

OK nothing else, gotta get ready for shopping. Just in case I don't bother to upload tomorrow, merry christmas!

Hang On Little Tomato

Aw finally the long awaited photos that I (barely) managed to capture of HT (Hot Teacher).

HAHAH well let's try to not make this 

so obvious I was dying pretending to be taking a picture of the classroom interior.... SO oh my God you guys owe me a lot. Or

 maybe this is just an excuse so I get a picture of him.. Maybe.

OMG FUCK I cannot upload more.. Actually I have more. Oh well make do lah ok? Make do.

ENJOY.

I'm so upset that the term is ending = No more class with HT next term

/edit: xinxin keeps saying I'm blind. AM I BLIND? My excuse is I like starving artists hahahahah WHAT THE FUCK can you all slap me now.

Fat Food

I am so glad I came online I was asleep for 13 hours.

The biggest portion of tiramisu you've ever seen.

Caught in the rain

So I was stranded in the middle of nowhere today. It was cold.. And raining.

I *don't* do rain. These pictures were taken at 2 PM. Why so glum, San Francisco?

I (don't) need all the friends I can get

So anyway what's new but me screwing up my blog template because I'm so sick of it. And IF ANY OF YOU DVC PEOPLE READ THIS THEN FUCK OFF CAUSE I KNOW YOU GOOGLE MY NAME AND ARRIVED HERE. Okay there, I said it.

Apparently some of the people I perceive to be good people aren't as good as they appear to be. I think I must be smarter when choosing friends. And I thought I was good at reading people! So anyway innocence is overrated. And subtlety too. So I am waging a war against Indonesians in San Francisco Bay Area (haw haw cute).

I wonder why I haven't spoken to Siti and Ong in the past few weeks? (Siti if you're r

eading this, I am still fat and not skinny so...). Absence makes the heart grow fonder. 

Quote unquote Jiawen.

I am concerned with my diet. I'm going off on a tangent here.. Er not just because I've put on an enormous amount of weight, but also I am starting to adopt the Classic American Meal Plans and I'm worried about my health. Really.

Run through of meals on a typical day:

8 AM - half of a sandwich from one of the little cafes at the pier

1130 AM - candy (usually Twix because they sell this in the vending machines in school)

2 PM - the other half of sandwich bought earlier

230 PM - something sweet god knows what

530 PM - banana

8 PM - some instant ramen or kimchi noodles (no wonder my hair is falling out)

11 PM - banana for snack

And that is normal weekday. On weekends, I have pasta + tiramisu or steak or some form of fried seafood plus my friends' drinks.

HOW TO NOT PUT ON 1 million pounds? 

I wish I had pictures to post.. But maybe I don't. Or maybe I do.

Wait.

Normal American Diet. 

Rule #1 

Eat ketchup with everything.

Rule #2

Always ask for extra sauce even if you don't need it.

Rule #3 (also known as the Golden Rule)

Fry everything.

Ok the last one was a bad pun. Bye friends and lovers I'm off to sketch for my lover (I wish).

/edit:  hate my tagboard so please leave a comment? kthxbye

"Terry look at Stella's condom"

So said my friend to my teacher. Sigh, bad day. I am so irritable.

On another really really upsetting note, I am not 21 yet. Which means that I am missing Aimee Mann's 2nd Annual Christmas Show in the city tonight. Sigh. Worse, I would have gone alone even if I had noone to go with. But upon allegedly asking the alleged "friends", the alleged friends allegedly said they wouldn't come even if they had a choice. Nice.

School is kind of a bitch - I know you guys are having your holidays in singapore. Oh well. My school is kind of a bitch. Okay I realised I said that before. 

AND GOD I CAN'T WRITE FOR NUTS.

One should either be a work of art, or wear a work of art

HOW VERY DISTURBING.

Random photos

1) Misato and I. Inferiority complex extravaganza because she is pretty (prettier than in this picture). And she has the cutest cigarettes in a pink box for girls from Japan the land of weird and cute things.

2) Sculpting Neo and the matrix scenarios with erasers. With his private parts. In sketcing class. Classy? (OK don't kill me)

3) Halloween... Need I say more.

4) Halloween. Cowboy and Jane (from Tarzan)

5) Friends

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

I AM IN QUITE A MERRY MOOD BECAUSE:

1) IT IS THANKSGIVING TOMORROW

2) IT IS THANKSGIVING TOMORROW AND I HAVE POTATO DUTY

3) I AM HAVING TURKEY TOMORROW

4) I AM HAVING PUMPKIN AND CRANBERRY PIES TOMORROW

5) MY FRIEND OPENED A BOTTLE OF WINE TODAY AND WE HAD PLENTY OF IT

6) I SAW A PAINFUL BUT REMARKABLY REMARKABLE MOVIE TODAY

7) I STILL MUSTERED A 14 PAGE COMMENTARY OF THE MOVIE

8) I HAVE 4 DAY HOLIDAY

9) I COUNTED 8 BLESSINGS ABOVE

10) SALE IS DAY AFTER TOMORROW

So anyway for conceptual design the teacher (or should I say... The Teacher) made us watch this fucking torturous and arduous movie called.. Koyaanisqatsi. And made us write our thoughts AS we watch the film and after.. And the film was 84 minutes long, with NO dialogue, no plot no main characters. Wanna try and beat that?

The movie was made in the early 80s, and was based on the prophecies of the Hopi people (I didn't know Hopi people existed. I knew Hoppipolla from VALERIE and SONJA but not Hopi people - you get me). And the prophecies state:

• If we dig precious things from the land, we will invite disaster
• Near the day of Purification, there will be cobwebs spun back and forth in the sky.
• A container of ashes might one day be thrown from the sky, which could burn the land and boil the oceans.

I really think the word "precious" is kind of subjective though, don't you think? Precious may = gold and diamond to some. But some people may not view those to be "precious". Unless of course we are generalising that the "Hopi" people are all living in poverty. Or extreme excesses. Saying that those above are prophecies (I take it to mean predictions of the future done by human beings), then they don't get leeway for saying "a container of ashes MIGHT one day be thrown from the sky". Hmmm, I could've said that.

However, cinematographically speaking, this movie/film/whatever these artsy people call it, deserve an award. It was a visual and aesthetic treat in terms of texture, colour, angle.. They were all brilliant. The soundtrack (I hesitate to call it a soundtrack, however, since they only chanted one word in all.. And that was Koyaanisqatsi, the title of the film in different tunes) was hypnotic. Although the teacher already warned us beforehand, I still found myself getting so absorbed, not necessarily in a good or bad way, to the music which was composed by Phillip Glass.

Most importantly, the most telling and/or powerful goodness of this... thing, is in its own concept. The absence of dialogue, or a main plot, does one thing, and does it well. It doesn't pollute your mind of what your interpretation of the scenes, of the frames, of the stills. It does not influence. It is for you to pick up in the details.

MAN THAT IS A HELL LOT OF BULLSHIT FOR SOMETHING NOONE CARES ABOUT. IF I WEREN'T FORCED TO WATCH IT AND TAKE NOTES DURING THE MOVIE I WOULD HAVE PROBABLY SAID "FUCK THIS SHIT" TOO. BUT I DID. AND IT WAS GOOD. SO YOU GUYS HAVE GOT TO SEE IT, WHEN YOU GUYS FEEL LIKE BEING DEPRESSED ABOUT OUR MANUFACTURED WORLD. I AM SO DISTURBED RIGHT NOW. I SWEAR.

Koyaanisqatsi

noun

"life of moral corruption and turmoil", " life out of balance"

p/s: now I have to check up on what Hopi people are.

Karma is an unforgiving bitch

Of all things, I decided to look at my horoscopes... And oh my GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD I am SO reading my horoscopes from now on. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

WELL besides that, I'm so fucking dead. CAN ANYONE COME ONLINE AND TALK TO NEEDY-ME??

I know I am really starting to sound a little, just a little bit odd today. Or always, whatever. This is because I am a little delirious. I don't know if I'm happy or I'm delusional. And I just went on Wikipedia and the featured article......... OH.MY.GOD.OH.BOB.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHA

FUCK YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

If anyone came for a good, thought-provoking read, sorry to disappoint.

It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah

I didn't sleep a wink last night rushing my homework after a design symposium thingy that we all volunteered for but in the end we just walked around and gawked at some great dining-related designs. It was also The Night We Stole A Bottle of Chardonnay and Vodka. Whatever the hell the reason is because they taste like shit. Expensive shit. Mostly there were great tables, some too artsy but conceptually just breathtaking. As most of you know, I am flatware obsessed - which is why I volunteered in the first place. The flatware on showcase yesterday could've made me orgasm right there and then. Some pictures?

Fuck the pictures aren't uploading. Well anyway updates - Ong can't make it here in December.. Which just sucks. And Siti you are still my EDF (eating disorder friend). Please text me to remind me not to be a bitch and stop eating.

And I am going to be staying up again tonight doing homework for tomorrow's class. Ugh I'm in no mood to be a bitch and talk about hot teacher. I'm going to go get food now.

Not My Day

Although it is Wednesday today, I don't feel very happy. 

1) A kid in the elevator cried seeing my nail polish and his mom scolded me. (These things only ONLY happen to me. Bob, why me?)

2) I am lagging behind in one class so badly.

3) I ate 4 bananas today although I am supposed to lose weight. (Always)

4) Someone I am close to is being a total bitch/whore/manwhore/grossfuck

5) Hot teacher says he expects more from me.

6) I am fat.

7) I am still fat - only typing to burn 0.004 calories.

On the bright side,

1) I had sushi today.

2) I have not shopped the past week (WHAT, REALLY?)

3) Hot teacher said I'm smart.

4) I may be going to NY in December if Ong doesn't get tickets. But I still want Ong to come.

To state other mundane things that will make me neither happy or unhappy will be really testing the readers' patience and friendships with me. But I will try anyway.

1) Gossip Girl in 1 hour.

2) I have to do a hair mask, and a facial mask. Yay? Maybe not?

3) I am going to the gym at my friend's apartment later.

4) After the gym, we are going to Safeway.

Seriously man, I need a life. Tell me to get a life. And I am obsessed with flatware, so I think I should be a flatware designer. So says hot teacher. But that just sounds wrong, and awfully contrived. "When you are on the cover of Metropolitan Magazine and you give a mediocre interview I hope you look back and remember that I told you to keep a personal sketchbook". "I think we both know you are". "I am a good guy". "Even the Mona Lisa's falling apart, Stella". "I am just hoping this is a habit that you are going to keep. You had a reason to be nervous.". And lastly, "that wasn't so bad, was it?"

Yeah, definitely not my day.

Dancing with Myself

So let's sink another drink

Cause it'll give me time to think

If I had the chance

I'd ask the world to dance

And I'll be dancing with myself

I don't know how this sounds but oh I miss Q so much!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY FRIENDS

My Moon My Man. says: (11:09:47 PM)

hahah IS ATE YOUR COOKIES A CODE WORD?

------------------------------------------

My Moon My Man. says: (11:10:26 PM)

oooh so you offered your cookies, huh

My Moon My Man. says (11:10:29 PM)

you minx, you

What I paid $1800 for...

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHAT THE HELL IS THIS CAN YOU EXPLAIN OR NOTTTTTTT HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Anyway that's my teacher (not the hot one).. And I look so so bad here. And double chins....................... FUCK!

And I don't know why I'm here because an earthquake just took place which resulted in my lampshade falling to the ground (but not breaking - thank Bob for carpeting).

I can't wait for my packages to arrive. I've never been more sex-cited to see the UPS guy.

P/s: Stayover at my friend's as a sushi chef (tentative) tomorrow. Maybe I won't have time to complete my outfit. There will be pictures though.

When did your heart go missing?

I just had lunch. I made fried chicken. And I should have taken a picture of my fried chicken because some people doubt my ability to cook (hahahah I cheated on this one, the seasoning my mother pre-mixed and sealed in nifty little packs for me). Anyway, it was a little bland, so I had to pour a hell lot of sweet soy sauce on my rice so it will taste better. I know better now.

I spent the whole morning yesterday talking to Q (finally!) and the whole of last evening to Ong (yes!!!!!!! She is coming to visit in December). So I am pretty happy actually. Today is a laid back day I am going to spend: a) doing my laundry, b) doing my sketching homework, c) building a model of a skate park, and d) taking a long, leisurely nap. If I am not too lazy doing a, b and c, that is. I am more likely to accomplish only d successfully.

Oh I forgot to ask if you guys can access www.abc.com to watch full episodes of whatever's playing on TV? Cause it is the best thing everrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Conversation with Ong

Me: Omg let's go skiing! Tahoe!

Ong: HAHAHA

Me: Yeah the place where Ruth goes when she loses her voice once a year!

Ong: Eh we should visit all the Bonesetter's Daughter places..

Me: Yeah we should!

Ong: Land's End! Let's go to the beach.

----

Ong: We have to go to New York too if not we will be leaving Arthur Miller out.

I've just seen a face

Bloomingdale's love all around.

Materialism all around. Chloe MiuMiu Dries all around. Marni Chanel Alaia all around. Repettos Comme Proenza all around.

AH Calista you have been photobooth-ing too!! HAHA don't spam me. See, my sister is getting married next June/July (confirmed) so I will not get to take the summer semester next year. That is why I am taking winter semester this year! Which is why I probably am not going back. But it's all still not confirmed so don't get your lacy panties in a twist!

I am getting all excited.... Today has been a beautiful day and I hope yours was too. CONCEPTUAL DESIGN TEACHER LOVING SAGA CONTINUES.

AND CUPCAKE IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT TO BE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU AND ONG RIGHT NOW. YOU JUST DON'T KNOW. So the song is dedicated to you - you can ignore the non-moving video. (This is your cue to minimise your window and get on with other browsing. But listen to the song.)

SHIT I SPOKE TOO SOON NOW I CANT EMBED IT INTO MY POST OK I GIVE YOU THE URL.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=iLZMdM7aLn4

We get a kick out of Diet Coke

Can anyone explain this picture at all. Can anyone picture this picture.

I'm just exhausted! And I encourage everyone to visit me soon because I (may have) changed my mind about going back for winter break. Before you spam me with hate mails, ask me why first.

I'm off to sleep.

Things we lost in the fire

So we are all dealing with our own shit, but I just want to say to someone that I really treasure and love that everyone is here for her. Nothing will make the pain go away, but know that we are all here for you.

Talking to you people in Singapore brings back fond memories, but also reminds me just how fragile everything is. Change, change, change. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Love is a dog from hell

My Messenger is down again.

Everything will let you down in the end. So don't set expectations. Okay, lesson learnt.

My friend Janice stayed over at my apartment yesterday. We had fun.

I really don't know what to say except.. LOVE IS A DOG FROM HELL. 

p/s: I am getting ignored by everyone!

It is unkind to terrorise one in her sleep

I am so happy to be able to log onto the internet again after so long! I was unable to "steal" my neighbours' wireless shit because I haven't got mine installed yet. Wel well. So today someone decided to be nice and just kept their router on and without password too! So I am thankful. Damn it. And my friend's cell got charged $540 for one month because she was using her Messenger for IM and everything she sends out is counted as one text message and she didn't know that. What the hell. So I am avoiding going online on my phone just in case my phone's settings are like that too although they promised me "unlimited" shit.

Ah anyway wednesday came and went. It is seriously the highlight of my week man. Swear that I am so fucking happy on wednesdays.. Just because the teacher is another Jasmine Tan. Plus he doesn't look like Jasmine Tan. I know some of you will be offended when I type what I want to describe him as. He's like.. A smart, intelligent, overbearing, and a more handsome, but still uncannily alike in looks, Jesus. Like he's got a beard. And he is young! I will post some of his works some time when I successfully turn him straight. It's perfect, he's the archetype of someone I would love to love. SIGH WHAT TO DO HE'S GAY. I HEARD. OH NOOOO :(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:( Why are all good men gay. Shit lah intelligence is really attractive wouldn't you agree?

My mom and dad are coming next week on the 10th! I am a bad person. I wish I had more time to clean up my house before they come because a) my mom is nitpicky about tidiness and b) my dad is the most anal person EVER he folds his own laundry doesn't let the domestic helper do the chore because he likes his shirts folded in a ration only he knows. If the folds are off by an inch (HAHAHAHA I LOVE USING THIS THING NOW THAT IM USA GALZ BORN AND BRED HERE SO I WON'T SAY CENTIMETER INSTEAD I GO INCH OK SLAP ME NOW), he would re-press the shirt himself. So there you go. And my closet is already so full..... Brimming with shit such as 23409234798245903824 SF city guides, Booklets, Bus Guides, Magazines and suitcases. And also random things like air freshener which I never ever use because the smell is fucked up. Besides that, the 10th is a wednesday. So that means I will have to miss my favourite class?!?!?!?!?! WHATTTT HOWWWWWWWW should I just rush from the airport to school. I need to be in that class because I feel like I will retard the human evolutionary process if I don't go.

I have been emailing some friends continuously and I am so happy that I am. Some people really mean it when they say things weren't going to change and I know that! And of course my favourite cousin too she is always emailing me and making me laugh not at her pathetic-ness but because she is just damn funny!!! We are just funny people. Or am I making you guys want to puke.

I have been enjoying my life in general. School is dandy, shopping for shit dandier, apartment dandiest. The downside of it all is that because I've just moved here, there are so many things to pay for! And well I am always looking at stuff and I just want to buy so many things. Like good furniture. Pardon me (ahem) I'm now doing interior design so I need to surround myself with things that will inspire me. Ah I need to buy a new couch and a new table and stuff. I like Ikea but many of their stuff only looks good but are in fact of poor quality. Ah I complain and complain but they don't even have Ikea in the City. And that is probably because the rent is exorbitant here. (You learn something new everyday fact for October 4th 2007: NY is the most expensive city in the US and SF is second - bet you didn't know that). And I don't want to be one of those kids in school who compete with each other in school. Who has what boots who has which bag and where did she get it custom made. I know money doesn't grow on trees. I'm aware how my parents work day and night and then day again and night again to send us all abroad and I know what kind of hard work went into their business to get to where they are today. I am thankful that money isn't one thing I have to worry about. So I thank Bob. Hopefully I don't turn out like one of those people who just want to impress people in school (who the fuck has the energy to dress like runway models when it's 10 degrees Celsius out). Well but people do. I mean try to dress like models.

I know of someone who I see on a fairly regular basis who assesses EVERYTHING everyone wears. Like "ew she wore this ksubi jeans last week too I think she only has one pair that she keeps wearing" WHAT  THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU OMG PLEASE!!! WHAT THE. So what if she only has one pair of ksubi and not 6 chloe bags and 45 gucci bags. HUH? HUH WHAT IS WRONG WITH THAT. She wants to wear it till it rips apart at the seams is also her business what. Aiyah fuck you lah. Really. I just want to make a dig at her and like slam her directly but to be honest I've no guts because.. I need a social life. If you know what I mean. It's a dog eat dog world here. So I need all the friends I can get (I'm desperate). 

Forgot to mention that the TV is great here. I just watched Grey's and Ugly Betty just now, Private Practice yesterday and also Gossip Girl (you can send me hate-mail at stella.khoeswoyo@gmail.com). HAHAHA Private Practice is a bit disappointing - Shonda totally spread herself too thin. It just doesn't deliver. Thankfully Grey's is still good man. I don't know if it's true or if I'm the last person in the world to know that you can't watch full episodes of the afore-mentioned serials on abc.com. But Jiaxi says people outside US can't see it. Is that true? Feedback please. Ah fall is such a glorious season to be in. Despite my pee potentially becoming icicles in the morning because it is just so cold.

I really need to emphasize that I want to talk to everyone.. (I miss QIQI CAUSE SHE HASN'T EMAILED ME ONCE SINCE I'VE BEEN HERE QKI CAN YOU REPlY ME YOU FUCKER I MISS YOU!!!!! AND GOT A COMMON THREAD THROUGH LOAF NOW. WE'RE INTO FUCKED UP TEACHERS!!) I want to call you guys but see, when I wake up in the morning it is a bit too early for me and I can't wake up half an hour earlier even to call you guys at the right time cos it's really early and college students always need sleep. Right? And when school ends it's too late to call you guys.. So I don't know what to do but email and text but noone texts me anyway. HERE IS MY NUMBER. YOU HAVE TO TYPE +1-415-990-5018. CALL ME ANYTIME.

Wow guess who's chatty tonight.

I Don't Do Crowds

Oh my God I am so fucking tired from moving all my shit from the old apartment I was staying in to the new one. I guess that is a sign that I should stop shopping because I had bags and bags and suitcases after suitcases of shit and school stuff like foam core boards and cartons and 50 inch rulers (not a hyperbole - really). And screw San Francisco's streets. It was like climbing Mount Everest to take those stuff with me two blocks up. 

Anyway the new place (ahem allow me to call it Bob - my new house is called Bob) is nice!!! It is bigger than the old one and my flatmate and I have more privacy now. And after carrying all those stuff up the hill, we were so hungry. So I went to the minimart and purchased some good ol' kimchi ramen. When I reached upstairs, I realised I only have a frying pan and no pan to boil water in. So in the end we decided to "make do" and boiled water in the teflon frying pan. And after that I realised.......... We didn't have any utensils. So I went downstairs again to buy disposable chopsticks. And then I went up, nearly dead. And when I went up my flatmate said.. "Errrr we don't have any plates or bowls". So I said SCREW THIS SHIT LET'S ORDER PIZZA HUT. So we logged onto PH's site.. Ordered our pizza and decided on a large one so we can reheat it when we get hungry sometime. And when it arrived, we ate like 2 slices each and put it in the fridge. This evening we were like "eh hungry already let's eat some pizza" and it dawned on us that........... WE DON'T OWN A MICROWAVE. We nearly died. So in the end we starved. 

The good, though, was that I went to buy some hangers just now. To hang my clothes duh. And I thought I went overboard buying a whole box of them but actually I need another 6 dozen wtf how come I never had to use so many in Singapore? Plus I don't have a car so I have to trek uphill like 7 or 8 blocks to buy hangers la UGH. At least most of my stuff are already in place yayz. Oh and I can download so many things here...!!!

My Conceptual Design teacher is so hot can die I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT WAIT FOR WEDNESDAYS PLS PLS PLS GOD LET WEDNESDAY COME QUICK.

I am turning into one of those people who blog about things no one really gives a fuck about, aren't I?

baby i'm bad news

Hello pals it's been too long since I posted anything and I blame it on my youth. Or lack of. Therefore nothing to blog about. But today as I lay in bed, trying to catch some rest after a long heavy day, I decided to post an entry here. Hmmm where do we begin?

I am sure everyone's sick of me complaining about the type of people my school seems to be producing. Or should I say, attracting. I will just continue with some good news.

1) I am moving into my apartment today.

2) I am not lagging behind in my school work (small victories)

3) I am in love with my gay teacher :( who is so toot but is artsy and wears paul smith.

4) I went to bloomingdale's yesterday and there was a shoe sale so....

On the other hand though,

1) My roommate is sick.

2) The bank account is running low. Bills bills bills.

3) I was supposed to get my job (YES GOD OF RETAIL YOU HEARD ME) but there were some immigration and legal problems so I cannot work until next year.

BUT ok la exciting I am happy here although I miss my friends. ONG QIQI JIAWEN SITI ADEL CALISTA VALERIE YOU ALL HAVEN'T EMAILED/REPLIED ME YET. For the A level person it's ok lah. But the rest of you must reply mee cause I'm needy and of course I have things to tell you guys.

AHHH I am so excited to be moving into my own apartment I need to pack. Will post pictures ok promise from last month to my apartment pictures. If anyone cares. Oh and I think I am going to change my blog address. Just because.

Down with flu

I'm in bed dying with flu at 4 am in the morning. I feel like I'm going to die any moment ugh. And I can't view my tagboard for some reason.

So how is everyone? I quite like school with all its bright newness and challenges although I am proving to myself more than anything that I suck at what I'm doing.

If anyone, anyone at all reads this, take some time to email me at stella.khoeswoyo@gmail.com just because I will be so happy to receive an email from you.

Plus I am a lonely loser so..

A Difficult Spot

I always *knew* somewhat that school is going to be different now. I've heard from Q how the workload is like blah blah blah. But man, being in this new school, I don't know what I got myself into. First day of the first class and you are making model homes out of cardboards blah blah. Next day a rigorous seminar on How to Succeed in College (3 hour talks on Goals, Time Management, and Motivation - someone just kill me). But then again, where else in the world is a school so hyped up about the NY fashion week? Like every class you walk into the teacher goes, "yeah I heard one student tried to book Freja Beha for her show in NY next week!". So it's all good I guess.

What is not good, is me, having weird dreams, about weird people.

I'm so self-centered sometimes.

You know I have too much time..

When I update this blog daily. Right? Anyway I forgot it was my birthday until the text messages came in yesterday.. And some of you were too early.. Some too late, depending on which side of the pond you're on. Oh well, thanks a lot everyone! I will try to be optimistic although it seems like life as I know it is pretty much over. Still no friends, still feverish (no, not in a good way). HAHA

Uh I think I really don't have too many things to say over here, except that I am sick of buying things and that groceries are so expensive here. Case in point: a banana generally costs 79cents apiece! That's like more than 1 Singapore dollar per banana! I am auntie I know.

I remember last year everyone came to my party and I was happy.

I can't believe I brought my heart to leave in San Francisco!

So nice to know I haven't been forgotten by friends and strangers alike. One week plus into the San Francisco city and pace, I am tremendously missing home. But maybe it's just loneliness speaking. I haven't spoken to a human being for more than a fleeting 3 minutes the past 3 days (nice number) since my sister abandoned me for glitzier SoCal. HAHA I just had to type that. And at times like these I wish I had size6 to be annoyed with.

Well we did all the touristy things already. Visit the Fisherman's Wharf? Check. Sip hot chocolate in Ghirardeli Square? Check (highly overrated by the way). Cross the Golden Gate? Check. Eat pastries in Union Square? CHECK. GODDAMNIT THERE IS NOTHING ELSE TO DO IN THIS PLACE. Well, like buying your own computer.. Which I keep procrastinating to do because.. I don't have a local credit card yet and I don't want to pay them in cash because they will be more than slightly suspicious as to where I acquired so much cash. Ah.. Back to the old me, constant jabbering noone really cares about. I am using my landlord's laptop right now.. It doesn't have Messenger. Sorry folks.

And one more thing, I hate the fucking time difference I can't talk to anyone at normal hours! My mom wakes me up at 8 EVERY SINGLE FREAKING DAY because it will be her 11pm. GOD. Other than that (which is pretty much everything) though, I like this place. A place where you see 12 year olds buying the whole Juicy Couture Fall07 collection (ew) and Victoria Secret's sister company Pink - releasing Paris-Hilton-tracksuit folly to the masses, especially in the aforementioned hue. On the other end of the spectrum (and boy is the spectrum broad), we see so many ecologically-friendly girls and boys protesting about everyone's carbon footprint. And then there are the sweet demure girls who work at Anthropologie wearing everything knitted and a silk Anna Sui dress and a pair of cute leather boots. And yet another side of town called the Haight-Asbury neighbourhood revels in its hippie past. Yes, Janis Joplin walked down that lane. Yes, Amoeba records is a great (indie) music store and label that discovers and promotes fresh new talent. Well, well. With so many to agree and disagree on, I think everyone will love at least a portion of this place.

Yesterday was my first day at school. International students orientation #1. All I see are girls dressed up to the nines.. These Taiwanese Barbie dolls (seemingly) trying to outdo each other. One with a Birkin. Oh now I see one with a Burberry trench! (It's not even THAT cold). OOh-oh, now we gotta up our game cause I see one tiny little yellow chick over there with a pair of thigh-high Chanel boots. And they all do Fashion Merchandising. I feel like strangling myself.

Anyhow, many many pictures I took while doing the touristy thing. I will update them when I get my own laptop.

Well poor poor me, I shop at H&M, American Apparel, Urban Outfitters, and Uncle Marc (sales ongoing the whole entire freakin' year HOLY JEEBUS).

That's only because I haven't found my tobacco king (yet). Wish me luck!!

Sweet Valley

So I don't deserve my friends. But they love me and I love them.

I guess I really don't have a valid excuse for the irrational behaviour on display just now and I took it out on them and it got all weird and all. So sorry, but do know that I feel damn loved (fuck slap me I can't believe I just said that). I feel like Jessica and Elizabeth fucking Wakefield who were going to Utah!!!!!! ARGH busted! (I used to read Sweet Valley Junior High). I am so sorry so so so sorry I didn't mean to make everyone feel awkward I swear! But anyway we pulled it off.

I believe in karma I guess. But I don't know what I ever did to deserve them.

edit:
damn all these beautiful girls says:
haha i wasnt those that were "so good" but trust me i love you all the same if not more..

Isn't this enough to make someone's day.

I never really believed in horoscopes

Really, the frivolity people have commonly perceived me with has never stemmed from the fact that I believe in horoscopes, star gazing, blah blah blah - whichever way you slice it, it still sounds dumb and irrational. Well, yesterday I read in the papers about how my day was going to be. "Your pockets will not be as deep as you think it is blah blah you will get pissed off today blah blah". Maybe not quite the exact phrasing they printed on the page, but it came true! And today, just for fun, I read again, and it predicts my day like how I predict my day today. So, let's see.

I really am not making much sense, I know.

Once-too-familiar people are appearing in my dreams. I don't know what this means. I don't know whether I conjure up these dreams myself or this is some kind of divine intervention. Or should I say divine reminder. Shit I was gonna go on a verbal diarrhea about how not everything not rational is irrational, but I lost my train of thought.

So anyway a few days ago I dreamt that my mom adopted two angmoh kids into our family such that there are 5 siblings in the house now. Although it's probably I watched Miss Potter before I fell asleep and was taken by the child Beatrix and Bertram.

I hate psychology

There was something in the air that night

I am so sorry to friends and believers - my internet is still pretty much screwed up so I keep getting cut off MSN.

[Timms is trying to duck out of Athletics]
Games teacher: What's your excuse?
Timms: I've got a sick note, sir.
Games teacher: I don't *do* sick notes! Get your clothes off! Did Jesus Christ say, "Please may I be excused the Crucifixion?"
Scripps: Uh, I think he *did* actually, Sir...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

3 days to Singapore. I will need to buy a laptop and I think the techie girl that she is, Berly has volunteered to go shopping with me. Although it is pretty much clear which one she is going to ask me to get.

I just realised that my sister and her fiance are exactly the same type of people... Which only suggests one thing isn't it? Btw if anyone wants anything from Indo you have exactly 2 x 24 hours to make your desires known and accommodated.

History. It's just one fucking thing after another

I must reiterate that I think The History Boys did not receive the worldwide acclaim and adulation they deserve! I know everyone's been through this with me before, but I just got the DVD and I watched it twice already since then. It's so... "lingering". As Posner would say.

Ah anyway after a long long break in Surabaya and Jakarta here I am. Same as ever, maybe more pissed, definitely more cashless. The shopping there is CRAZY. I swear. In one mall there are 80 luxury stores.. One floor just shoes - On Pedder, Linea, the works. I nearly died there. Sure, many things caught our (collective term for my sister and I) fancy, but we were frugal galz so we only spent as necessary. Well I did. I realise that she tries to justify buying a bag for "travel" every half a year. Or something. The last time she got a messenger bag, that was before we went to HK, for "travel". In her words, "big and roomy and loads of compartments!!". This time in Jakarta, it is a small nylong bag, few compartments, really, but it came with a long detachable strap and two thick handles. Guess what she said, "You know, the messenger I bought last year? Too heavy! I'd have to rummage all the time - it's too big. Now this tiny little thing is just perfect for stowing away the bare necessities, you don't think?". Uhm, yes.

OMG I HATE BLOGGER AND THIS COMPUTER HALF MY ENTRY GOT ERASED.

I was saying, to borrow a teenlike jargon, I feel "numb" about the fact that I'm leaving in less than 2 weeks. And no, I don't have the American Dream in mind. I should glitter-ise (or glitter-ize, just to get in the mood) that phrase. Ah.

I miss everyone!

Corbis is your favourite site

Name : Stella
Hobby : Stare at pictures of kittens online until my eyes feel like they're going to bleed.

I'm now a real granny who has noone to talk to but kittens. Worse, I don't even have one, I'm only talking to pictures of them. :( Does Blogger support emoticons. I'm suaku so don't judge me. I just want to publish this and see...

As I Lay Dying

I just applied for dorm housing in SF! It's a loserish/exciting thing to do isn't it, living in a dorm. Living in my own apartment is just too expensive, I think. I don't have that kind of disposable income (yet!) - wait till I get rich on my artist income. Just you wait. This actually poses a bit of a question mark since I have been asking all friends to come on and visit (although I'm not even there yet). I'm positive I'll like it though. When I get there and get to know more friends, ugh what am I talking about, I mean get to know any friend at all, then I probably will look for an apartment and share it with friends. Which means that you guys can come visit me by next year. Yes, I'm that sure of my social skills and I'm even surer that you guys are coming to visit.

There are so so many things that I am going to have to do before I move, and I haven't done any of it. Actually more specifically, I have a lot of purchasing to do. Bed linens, a portable computer, er, and stuff. I am flying 23rd Aug Singapore time. Fast forward approx. 23 hours flying time and I arrive 23rd August SF time. Soon! In 1 month I will have a new life. Well not new. Just modified and I hope, improved. (Sidetrack: I am losing my train of thought -and my mind- because the office radio is playing Mirror Mirror by M2M).

So where was I. Yes. You all must come and visit sometime. I already know that I'm gonna miss you guys. I've made certain pacts with certain friends - such as a certain substance abuse party (JOKING!) and a certain Summer programme in a certain country in a certain continent with a certain friend. Also, a certain friend says she will visit when she saves up enough money - nearly died when she found out a round trip ticket costs about 2000 bucks. But, really, SF is a "culturally diverse city that has not completely broken free of its bohemian heritage, making it one of the best (and expensive) cities to live in the United States". Someone famous once said that.

Oh wait, I did. HAHAHAHAHA

My sister and her boyfriend are in Jakarta right now. Bet they purposely didn't want me to come along cos she is ovulating right now. (JOKING OMG!) Okay I know I'm crude and all. I just have to entertain myself. I still haven't found my writing groove yet - assuming I had one to begin with. I haven't even been writing in my journal. I don't even know how to explain it here. It's almost like I am afraid to open my journal and see all those Polaroids of us laughing and smiling happily, and read what I felt a few weeks, months ago. It all seemed like so long ago. I just don't want to document everything I know and I am familiar with slipping away. If such an expression is permissible in this context. I think somewhere in the Freudian realm of my mind, doing as such, or rather not doing as such (writing), I expect that in the future I don't have to recall how I detached myself so easily, voluntarily.

I think that's enough revelation for one day. I hope you don't get the sense that I'm betraying you.

So for now, I hope everyone knows I love you all. (Thank God I stopped here right? This is beginning to sound like the letter Paris wrote when she was in Lynwood).

and that leaves two

I'm happy to hear such good news on a mundane tuesday. Really! So congratulations. You know who you are.

But a realisation dawned upon me! Now there are only the TWO of us. Shit. Actually, no I'm going to break that stigma reserved for books in a library. Bad joke, I know. Mies van der Rohe is credited for his ubiquitous axiom - Less is more. But I'm beginning to believe that less is a bore. I don't think anyone got that. Never mind.

Note: I am only now aware of the severity, (implication, whatever) of the good news! Since the person involved is a greenhorn still. Well aren't we all.

I don't think about my cousin very often.. I mean, sometimes my mom says, "Your aunt called me last night. Said her daughter is back". Then I'll think of her and all. We used to be close in secondary school - carpool, on the phone, stayovers (no I didn't go to Sweet Valley High). But I guess now we've all moved on and got caught up in all our own shit and drama. Had our fair share of.. I don't know what. But I really miss her alot. If and when she reads this, she'll know.

Meet my boyfriend

He (or she for that matter, I hadn't checked), was loitering outside our house by the beach.. and it was so tiny. My mom forbade me to take it home, thought the dogs will tear it apart. I WANT A CAT!

Late Conversations

Me: I want a kitty
XXX: I could be your pussy
XXX: but not in the type you want okay
XXX: don't be choosy!

WHAT THE FUCK! I am only protecting your name and not revealing it for the world to know because I love you okay.

Baking 101

Cousins and I baked. I love how my entries are somewhat becoming predictable with a twist

- I inherited Pop's trusty digital camera. So enjoy the pictures. Even if you don't. And you finally get to see my stupid stupid big ugly hair. I now look like Sean Lennon (and that is not a compliment trust me). Although to be fair, it looked nice 2 months ago. I'm just saying. Since none of you saw me during that period then I will fill in the blanks myself. But I cannot escape the part where you attack me with the Paris-droopy-eyelid argument.

Anyway that was all I managed to upload until my internet went wonky again what the?!?!? I hate life! Plus people who claim to be your friends until they are whisked on their stupid white horse carriages. I love (my) metaphors. I miss my friends. I went to see Harry Potter, yes I just had to be part of the crowd, on the first day it opened and it sucked. And I haven't seen Transformers yet I wonder why?

HOMEWORK BECKONS.

6th July 2007

I'm so pissed off that the pictures were only uploaded halfway! Now my internet connection decides to fuck up. So never mind, I know the pictures are a little pointless because my readership.. (What the hell do you call that anyway) only has 1 person who knows the people in the pictures..... But this is sort of like a gesture to let people know that the characters in my blog are not purely fictional. Or something.

Ah interesting and important revelation was made to me yesterday.. I had an.. Awakening. An epiphany, if you will. It was routine, what we did, criticising someone constructively - and it suddenly just DAWNED-ON-ME. Whatever this someone has done to you, you never get over it. Noone should have to put up with it. She lures them into her web of deception and trickery (don't look at me like that I'm sure I got that somewhere) and she just.. Has her way with them.

I thought everyone has evolved past that, but now I see you're just as susceptible as the next person.

What with her vulnerability, oh poor girl.

Shit in the course of 4 or 5 sentences I actually revealed that this person I'm talking about has a vagina! This is all so stupid ranty antsy and juvenile.

Totally, ho.

Mourn the losses because they are many; but celebrate the victories because they are few

DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN,

Could you help make Indonesian Internet providers more reliable? Thanks!

Love, Stella

To human beings, I've been trying to upload pictures of me and my cousins fishing in a .. fishing boat for a week or so and I haven't been able to upload any of them. And yesterday was my favourite uncle's birthday dinner and I also had many pictures to upload yesterday but this sodding thing will not upload my pictures.

Nothing much in particular to say, I'd only wanted to upload pictures so at least the world knows I'm still alive.. But I guess there is no way now. Till my internet behaves better, so long! Oh and my Messenger. Sorry if I frequently stop talking to people abruptly.. It's my internet.

Please disregard all grammatical and spelling errors - there're concept boards to be done up, upholstery fabrics to be felt, names of floorings to be memorised, and a blueprint to be drawn. And OC season 4 to be watched.

I love Yukio Mishima

SAINT-FOND : Here I am, bursting in on you, without even waiting to be announced. I'm sure you don't mind. It's not as if I flew through the window on a broomstick.

MONTREUIL : Whatever do you mean? (Crosses herself)

SAINT-FOND : Crossing yourself doesn't suit you as well as Madame de Simiane. You seem to be doing it despite yourself, for appearances' sake.

MONTREUIL : Don't mind me. Say anything that will make you happy.

SAINT-FOND : I decided to call on you today because something happened that I must tell you about. Last night I played the part of a Madame de Montespan in the days of the Sun King.

MONTREUIL : You gave your favours to the King? But they say the present King...

SAINT-FOND : No, let me tell you what happened, in the proper sequence. I need a good listener like you, someone of courage and daring, not like that timid mouse of a Simiane. I need someone who will pose to the bitter end as the apostle of virtue.

MONTREUIL : I'm much obliged for the compliment, Madame de Saint-Fond.

SAINT-FOND : I've become utterly bored with the artifices of love and the nasty machinations, with masked entertainments and incognita excursions among the lower classes, and with all the rest. I have even become bored of my own bad reputation. I've tried telling myself that what I was doing was sinful, but what it began with the bedroom and ended with the bedroom, and that's all. I've tried telling myself it was love, but all I tasted was ashes mixed with honey. It occured to me then that if I could somehow add an element of the sacred...

MONTREUIL : I can'r believe you are considering the religious life!

SAINT-FOND: Please be reassured on that score. When you gradually come to demand more and more spice in your pleasures you remember how much as a child you enjoyed being punished, and you even come to feel cheated unless somebody is punishing you. That's what gives people such a thrill when they spit on the invisible Master, provoking him and arousing his wrath. But sanctity is a lazy dog. When he's stretched out in the sun, abandoned to his nap, you may grab its tail or pull his whiskers, but he won't even open his eyes, let alone bark.

MONTREUIL : Are you implying that God is a lazy dog?

SAINT-FOND : Yes, a decrepit one.

MONTREUIL : I'm glad that my daughters are grown women. If you said such things before an adolescent girl...

SAINT-FOND : But, Madame, I haven't even begun the story I'm so anxious for you to hear. I seriously misjudged the Marquis de Sade. I used to wonder if that blond-haired, white-handed chastiser, that man shaking his whip, that executioner, might not be an agent of God. But now I realise how mistaken I was. The marquis is just another member of my crowd, he belongs to my party. Around the lazy dog taking his nap the flagellants and the flagellated, the chastisers and the chastised are no more than pathetic nuisances, exactly the same in character. One man attempts to provoke the dog by whipping somebody, another by being whipped, one by shedding blood, another by allowing his own to be shed.... And still the dog doesn't even deign to open his eyes. The Marquis de Sade and I are accomplices.

MONTREUIL : How did you discover this?

SAINT FOND : I didn't discover it. I felt it.

MONTREUIL : And when was this?

SAINT-FOND : When I was serving as a table.

MONTREUIL : As a table?

The sisters exchange whispers of surprise.

SAINT-FOND : Of course. Anyone can become a table. But let me be more explicit. I was stripped naked, and my body was used as the alter for a mass.

Her listeners gasp.

Il m'aime un peu, beaucoup, passionnément, à la folie, pas du tout

Hello friends, friends I consider family, family I consider friends, and voyeurs! It's been such a long time, it seems, since I posted anything substantial in here. No pressure though, yes? It is my own private space.

I am back from the town of Shark/Crocodiles = Surabaya. Was there with sister and her fiance (I hope you all detect a little harmless sarcasm instead of an ill intention). Yes there was nothing to be done there except eat, and eat we did. The food was damn good. FYI: that is the glorious region of the Third World where Ayam Penyet originates from. So we ate and we ate and did little else. WELL, I did little else. I don't know about them.

Okay enough HAHAHA fuck la my sense of humour rocks. But the previous sentence probably killed all its goodness.

Hmmm I know how much you hate a run through of my day. But as of now I am just too exhausted to be poring through philosophical questions on life and the universe. Plus my iPod is dead, I think.

Tired

So how's everyone? I hate being here. Ok bye not in the mood for blogging

Moon River My Foot

Okay so I decided to change my font a little bit, thought it'd make a difference. Not really. I only just noticed that there is a font called Webdings like sdkjhasd is webdings man. Oh I like doing that... fuck! oh my god!! That's like SO COOL I just cursed in Webdings! HAWHAWHAW I love this thing. Well anyway I hate my computer cause I can't like, access like, so many pages man. Why why why.. I'm a bit upset at this point. For example, as I am trying to pay my online class fee, the page suddenly freezes mid-monitor. I hate life!!!! And I am fine, for those of you who want to know. Okay.



AHH spent the whole day in bed again watching the entire Grey's Season 2. It was bad. I hate it when you've watched something once you just don't want to see the drama and all the bad things unfolding. I don't know about you, but it's this way for me. Like like, I just skip all the drama and watch the "uninteresting" bits like erm random people coming in with different - how do I put this delicately- maladies. Yes! And like shrieking in happiness and gloat when I recognise the special guest stars for that particular episode. "OOh that's Alice from L Word!" and "OOO that's emmett from Queer As Folk!" and also "Eh!! Micah!". So. Yeah I really have zero life.

Now even my curly hair has turned straight. SOMEONE PLEASE COME ONLINE HOW COME YOU ALL PRETEND TO BE MY FRIENDS BUT NOONE'S HERE WHEN I NEED YOUU that said I love all my friends still.

Did You Know....

... that Leon Trotsky had an affair with Frida Kahlo! Call me ignorant, but I only just found out!!

... that I've been passing time by Googling such random and useless facts without any regards to its credibility and usefulness.

I am now chatting with Febby and reading the Dilbert Blog archives. Seriously, noone has seen such an influx of blog entries from me in such a long time huh it just shows how utterly meaningless being bedridden in the hospital is. I wish someone could come online and chat with me for a while. It'd make everything so much bloody easier.

Where does my sister get off for accusing me that I'm faking my illness? I did try to tell her to sod off but it didn't work. Maybe I should read up on how to shut irritating sisters up temporarily. Her boyfriend though, OH sorry not her boyfriend anymore.. Now her fiance (insert gags here) has been nothing but sweet and forwarding me jokes and they're hilarious.

AHH having time to toss and turn in bed I suddenly thought of CJC and how all my classmates behaved last year and what kind of shitty fun we used to have. Something that I particularly remember well was when Charles.. HAHAHHAHAH well it's okay I don't want to air his dirty laundry here... (Pun NOT intended) but well, yeah. Good times. Only a few people know what I'm talking about, people like Kai Hwee Huiying Jan and Imelda.. Good times good times indeed. If I could raise a toast I would, but I look around and all I can see is my bed my aircon and outdated copies of Nylon and 1997 Vogue that belongs to my sister. Sigh, whatever.

What Doesn't Kill You Makes You... Much Much Weaker

Fever doesn't show signs of subsiding any time soon. And today's blood lab reports show that my trombocite levels have gone down quite remarkably if not dangerously. Therefore.... I will be admitted into the hospital AGAIN tomorrow morning. Fuck!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, well there isn't anything to say actually I only wanted to say that I've been lapsing in and out of sleep so much these days I don't remember replying any of your get well messages. So thanks everyone! I feel like Paris Hilton going to jail. Or something to that effect lah. Okay.. That's about how much I could type before I felt a headache coming on again. So bye bye and talk to you guys soon! XOXO

Stella is Sick(ening)

After a not-so-brief encounter with dengue and typhoid fever (and only 3 kgs lighter), I'm back and good as new! Some of you will try and refute this statement and say sickening as new. Ok anything la. I am so tired lah zhen de. I still have headaches especially after I shower etc hahaha that was the most random confession. Ugh I think I may have Munchausen's - I hope that's how you spell it cos my head is throbbing so much I can't be bothered to Wiki it. Whines, groans, dies (HAHAHAHAHAHAHA ring a bell my friends?)

So anyway life has been a bit erm unfruitful over here. Thank God for the Internet. Despite all the problems. Haiya I had something to blog about when I decided to blog. But I wonder what it is now? My brain is so overwhelmed by I don't know what. Headache perhaps.

Ok that's just a little heads up for the pals and whoever. And Q enjoy your hol ok! Bring back a hot mediterranean dude.

/edit

Anyone who sees this, it's mandatory that you visit Lapillus Accessories I mean buy something for yourself or your girlfriend or your boyfriend or something. The owners of the site keep stabbing my conscience (weird expression but never mind) and say that I don't buy shit from them. So free advertisement! And their stuff = good. Ok? Buy one of those wooden thingies and the jewelry too. Please?

How many miles to Babylon?

Talking to my pal who says she is suffering in Hong Kong right now. How come I don't believe suffering is possible when you're in one of the most capitalist places on earth? Okay we're forgetting many other places here but.. The most capitalist place closest to home. Is that better?

On the food,

the real Dorian Gray says:
i HATE chinese food
the real Dorian Gray says:
not like i love jap
the real Dorian Gray says:
but desperate times call for desperate measures..

Sidetracking aside (ha ha I'll not even say anything in my defense), there hasn't been much goings-on in the land of the very uncivilised over here. For one, Operation Small Appetite has not made much progress - what with the carbs galore and lack of mobility. Secondly, my visa is not done STILL after months of preparing and submitting the documents. Thirdly, I am losing the ability to converse in proper English. Okay that's about it.

Wah you like it when you are all the way across the globe (maybe a little dramatisation here but you know what I'm saying) and your HK pal says this,

the real Dorian Gray says:
u nv tell me when u come back
the real Dorian Gray says:
damn alot to gossip la my god
the real Dorian Gray says:
really ALOT

Thanks a lot Jiawen!

God Only Knows What I'd Be Without You

Wah I've been watching Big Love. It's damn damn good! I love it. Noone asked, but it's okay. Take it from me, it's good. Should it ever show in Singapore (I doubt but we never know), you guys must see every episode okay. Finally I watch something not so trashy. D-uh.

Can anyone come visit me? I mean I'm here.. 2 flights and um, 2500 miles away (I checked). Not so far lah, I just spoke to Ong my 80s Queen, she says she may want to come over to see my humble seaside town! HAHA screwed up there isn't anything to do here that is to her liking. Well, I'm typing away as if she'd never read this. Anyway as I was saying! Come visit me leh. Accommodation and food = Gratis. Okai?

As I was saying to my pal just now, sometimes someone close to turns so nasty and spiteful and vengeful, you don't even feel annoyed anymore. But afraid of what's consuming her. I don't know what I'm rambling about. Okay I'm all talk no act.. No pictures still, my dad is guarding his precious camera in his study downstairs. Oh and I only have 160,000 rupiah to my name. How to spell S-A-D man.

No prizes for guessing which close family member I'm talking about.

Lady Madonna

As much as I'd love to send emails to people (hey Tabi!!), I can't, because my email account is giving me severe problems! Plus I have no camera to take pictures of my hair with. Maybe I'll be a camwhore soon (hello Jiawen!) and post pictures of my daily tasks here so you first world dwellers can gain an insight on my little town.

Well so what can I say? I have been going for Chinese classes, can't remember if I've ever said this before. Chinese sucks balls can! I'd initially forgotten how to write "newspaper" in Chinese I think the teacher wanted to kill me. I'm struggling okai. Oh before I forget, Siti I know you read this! Hello.

Okay sorry boring updates no pictures. I'll update soon enough when I manage to steal my papa's camera.
(my sister is still killing me being herself)

Welcome to the Turd World

Hola pals of the First world! I arrived not too long ago here.. And already I feel so bored. The boredom is not what kills me, if you really must know. This is just a promise-less land! You've heard of the American dream (befitting my decision to go there) and Singapore Dreaming (the movie). Haven't heard of the Indonesian Dream have you? This is a land ruled by oversensitive mothers and the hopes of the offspring marred by traditions and bootlicking the extended family members. This is how it is.

Well first of all, I hope everything is fine in Singapore! I hope people email me now and then tell me progress.. Or even regress.. And digress. My family has stopped nothing short of stressing me up.. So I really miss my pseudo life in Singapore really. Ah I'm going to be away for quite long this time it seems.

So some of you may have heard about my friend who got pregnant over here. She's given birth! Woowee it's a boy (I think) and I'm visiting her tomorrow. When I think about it properly, it's not so sad anymore. I mean, she's 20 this year after all. Old enough to be a mother?

I'm not quite sure if anyone follows.. But anyway keep a lookout I think I'll be posting here soon.

Singapore Dreaming

I'm enjoying the free internet at the airport right now.. After spending my last penny on duty free shopping and magazines. I am leaving for Jakarta in uh, 1 hour. Bit early today cause damn kancheong - runs in the family.

Anyway the past few days spent in Sing were great cos I got to catch up with all my friends.. Who matter. Yknow what I mean la. Aiya fuck I don't know how to say what I want to say, except that I will miss you all a lot! It's so awkward to be professing my love for everyone. So this is the best I can do.

Skype me my pals, or text my Singapore number.

It all keeps adding up

Is contradicting yourself an occurence you find yourself in many many times? I ask, and I say this because yesterday someone reminded me that we are friends to ease our own guilt. Aiya I don't really know how to articulate my thoughts into proper words to be typed here.. Well SJ and I could start our own poetic endeavours here, I suppose?

There are many things that seem contrived but yet it still fills the gap somehow. So I ask myself whether it's good enough that things still work out although the manner in which they are achieved are a bit unnatural. Perhaps so. Better to fake it than to not bother right? Delusion is my surname..

Serves me right if karma bites me in the ass sometime soon, too much unhappiness, doom and gloom I revel in these days.. Poetic justice. But of course, no need for such emotional and non sequitur manner of blogging now, is there. Nothing follows! I think noone understands what I am saying right now.

Eh what can be done to reverse Paris Hilton's droopy eyelid?

Last Christmas I gave you my heart

So yesterday was a fun-filled day. Met up with the canteen gang members (hah) for the not-so-solemn birthday ceremony of Ong! 80s themed. Let's play pictionary shall we?














The invite. Designed by none other than our talented Sara-Jean! Kissy kiss.
































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































































Yucks I don't know what I was thinking with the electric blue stocking things.. But they all liked it. Goodnight pals.

The best party ever despite some, er, hiccups. I love the canteen gang!