Tristeza, the big sadness the heart feels

Hello friends and family whoever bothers to read this page. I actually have no particular purpose in typing an entry at such an odd time in the afternoon. I have art later, should be looking forward to that! I am painting two zebras now, I think I'll only finish them in early 2010. Who cares when I complete them though, right?

Anyway this morning Club 21 sale with Q wah it was a madhouse. Took place in one of the ballrooms of Holiday Inn Hotel off Great World City. My god the crowd was.. Intimidating to say the least. The thing started off at 9 a.m and by 10, there was a loooooooooooong line, had to deposit your bags and all that shit to prevent shoplifting or maybe in their case ballroomlifting. Whatever, not funny. Anyway! Got ourselves pretty good deals and we were so pleased that we decided to have dim sum afterwards. When am I finally going to save money? And that bitch Q is going to London on tuesday! What a prick!

So we saw like at least 100 Chanel bags during the sale itself. No, they weren't selling Chanel bags, but the patrons. God! Singaporeans are freaking rich and spendthrift? Is that the word you use. Yeah as Q said, "Eh you see that girl, she's in control", pointing to a woman with a modest-sized plastic bag to contain her purchases. "But you see that one, behaviour damn bad", she pointed to another lady who could hardly carry her shopping in two industrial sized carriers. Well we were hardly in control (bearing in mind our finances) of our purchases. Technically we spent whatever we could, so we weren't in control. The most spectacular sight today though, was one lady who stood up from her wheelchair and stacked her shopping in it while she pushes it like a grocery cart in the supermarket. And she still had that oxygen thing attached to her nostrils! Crazy or what? Haha, she initially snatched a pair of wonderful Dries Van Noten from me, and as I was about to go into a madwoman frenzy I noticed that she was, well, elderly and disadvantaged. So I let it go. Sigh altruistic me.

It is scary how we don't think twice to spend hundreds of hard earned dollars on a few pairs of whatever! (Adel?) What has changed us into materialistic and consumerist beasts that we are today? Is it also attributed to our increasing wealth? I don't think so right? I've charged so many things to Mastercard and there are too many Do-you-accept-Nets questions popping out of my mouth in the past month alone that I dare say I will have to starve next month. At the rate I'm going I am going to have to sell my old clothes to buy new ones. Why is it such a compulsion? I know that my things aren't "luxurious" or whatevs but it is the best I can afford. If I could afford better clothes, I definitely would. It seems like only a few of us are like that and most others are in control. Is it bad? I need to get to the bottom of this compulsion!

I am sure it is not our image conscious selves or whatever-the-hell hypotheses shrinks or behaviour analysts suggest that makes us shopaholics. (Disclaimer: I hate that term but for the sake of this argument just bear with me, I am not N****, my friends, I still belong in this planet). I also think I am proud of myself, definitely no self esteem issues. I will not blame my impulses on the very fact that my character is flawed and not interesting enough that I have to purchase something new to make someone like me. I am getting incoherent again but cut me some slack. Isn't it just nice to have a pair of Eley Kishimoto flats on sale? I don't care if people see my shoes' red soles, I just want to have them. Relate with me, all you broke shoppers.

I'd love to say that it is not a sin to Buy. Technically it isn't. But how come I feel so guilty?

That said, Marc by Marc Jacobs show next Wednesday. Hmmm.