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Name : Stella
Hobby : Stare at pictures of kittens online until my eyes feel like they're going to bleed.

I'm now a real granny who has noone to talk to but kittens. Worse, I don't even have one, I'm only talking to pictures of them. :( Does Blogger support emoticons. I'm suaku so don't judge me. I just want to publish this and see...

As I Lay Dying

I just applied for dorm housing in SF! It's a loserish/exciting thing to do isn't it, living in a dorm. Living in my own apartment is just too expensive, I think. I don't have that kind of disposable income (yet!) - wait till I get rich on my artist income. Just you wait. This actually poses a bit of a question mark since I have been asking all friends to come on and visit (although I'm not even there yet). I'm positive I'll like it though. When I get there and get to know more friends, ugh what am I talking about, I mean get to know any friend at all, then I probably will look for an apartment and share it with friends. Which means that you guys can come visit me by next year. Yes, I'm that sure of my social skills and I'm even surer that you guys are coming to visit.

There are so so many things that I am going to have to do before I move, and I haven't done any of it. Actually more specifically, I have a lot of purchasing to do. Bed linens, a portable computer, er, and stuff. I am flying 23rd Aug Singapore time. Fast forward approx. 23 hours flying time and I arrive 23rd August SF time. Soon! In 1 month I will have a new life. Well not new. Just modified and I hope, improved. (Sidetrack: I am losing my train of thought -and my mind- because the office radio is playing Mirror Mirror by M2M).

So where was I. Yes. You all must come and visit sometime. I already know that I'm gonna miss you guys. I've made certain pacts with certain friends - such as a certain substance abuse party (JOKING!) and a certain Summer programme in a certain country in a certain continent with a certain friend. Also, a certain friend says she will visit when she saves up enough money - nearly died when she found out a round trip ticket costs about 2000 bucks. But, really, SF is a "culturally diverse city that has not completely broken free of its bohemian heritage, making it one of the best (and expensive) cities to live in the United States". Someone famous once said that.

Oh wait, I did. HAHAHAHAHA

My sister and her boyfriend are in Jakarta right now. Bet they purposely didn't want me to come along cos she is ovulating right now. (JOKING OMG!) Okay I know I'm crude and all. I just have to entertain myself. I still haven't found my writing groove yet - assuming I had one to begin with. I haven't even been writing in my journal. I don't even know how to explain it here. It's almost like I am afraid to open my journal and see all those Polaroids of us laughing and smiling happily, and read what I felt a few weeks, months ago. It all seemed like so long ago. I just don't want to document everything I know and I am familiar with slipping away. If such an expression is permissible in this context. I think somewhere in the Freudian realm of my mind, doing as such, or rather not doing as such (writing), I expect that in the future I don't have to recall how I detached myself so easily, voluntarily.

I think that's enough revelation for one day. I hope you don't get the sense that I'm betraying you.

So for now, I hope everyone knows I love you all. (Thank God I stopped here right? This is beginning to sound like the letter Paris wrote when she was in Lynwood).

and that leaves two

I'm happy to hear such good news on a mundane tuesday. Really! So congratulations. You know who you are.

But a realisation dawned upon me! Now there are only the TWO of us. Shit. Actually, no I'm going to break that stigma reserved for books in a library. Bad joke, I know. Mies van der Rohe is credited for his ubiquitous axiom - Less is more. But I'm beginning to believe that less is a bore. I don't think anyone got that. Never mind.

Note: I am only now aware of the severity, (implication, whatever) of the good news! Since the person involved is a greenhorn still. Well aren't we all.

I don't think about my cousin very often.. I mean, sometimes my mom says, "Your aunt called me last night. Said her daughter is back". Then I'll think of her and all. We used to be close in secondary school - carpool, on the phone, stayovers (no I didn't go to Sweet Valley High). But I guess now we've all moved on and got caught up in all our own shit and drama. Had our fair share of.. I don't know what. But I really miss her alot. If and when she reads this, she'll know.

Meet my boyfriend

He (or she for that matter, I hadn't checked), was loitering outside our house by the beach.. and it was so tiny. My mom forbade me to take it home, thought the dogs will tear it apart. I WANT A CAT!

Late Conversations

Me: I want a kitty
XXX: I could be your pussy
XXX: but not in the type you want okay
XXX: don't be choosy!

WHAT THE FUCK! I am only protecting your name and not revealing it for the world to know because I love you okay.

Baking 101

Cousins and I baked. I love how my entries are somewhat becoming predictable with a twist

- I inherited Pop's trusty digital camera. So enjoy the pictures. Even if you don't. And you finally get to see my stupid stupid big ugly hair. I now look like Sean Lennon (and that is not a compliment trust me). Although to be fair, it looked nice 2 months ago. I'm just saying. Since none of you saw me during that period then I will fill in the blanks myself. But I cannot escape the part where you attack me with the Paris-droopy-eyelid argument.

Anyway that was all I managed to upload until my internet went wonky again what the?!?!? I hate life! Plus people who claim to be your friends until they are whisked on their stupid white horse carriages. I love (my) metaphors. I miss my friends. I went to see Harry Potter, yes I just had to be part of the crowd, on the first day it opened and it sucked. And I haven't seen Transformers yet I wonder why?

HOMEWORK BECKONS.

6th July 2007

I'm so pissed off that the pictures were only uploaded halfway! Now my internet connection decides to fuck up. So never mind, I know the pictures are a little pointless because my readership.. (What the hell do you call that anyway) only has 1 person who knows the people in the pictures..... But this is sort of like a gesture to let people know that the characters in my blog are not purely fictional. Or something.

Ah interesting and important revelation was made to me yesterday.. I had an.. Awakening. An epiphany, if you will. It was routine, what we did, criticising someone constructively - and it suddenly just DAWNED-ON-ME. Whatever this someone has done to you, you never get over it. Noone should have to put up with it. She lures them into her web of deception and trickery (don't look at me like that I'm sure I got that somewhere) and she just.. Has her way with them.

I thought everyone has evolved past that, but now I see you're just as susceptible as the next person.

What with her vulnerability, oh poor girl.

Shit in the course of 4 or 5 sentences I actually revealed that this person I'm talking about has a vagina! This is all so stupid ranty antsy and juvenile.

Totally, ho.

Mourn the losses because they are many; but celebrate the victories because they are few

DEAR LORD IN HEAVEN,

Could you help make Indonesian Internet providers more reliable? Thanks!

Love, Stella

To human beings, I've been trying to upload pictures of me and my cousins fishing in a .. fishing boat for a week or so and I haven't been able to upload any of them. And yesterday was my favourite uncle's birthday dinner and I also had many pictures to upload yesterday but this sodding thing will not upload my pictures.

Nothing much in particular to say, I'd only wanted to upload pictures so at least the world knows I'm still alive.. But I guess there is no way now. Till my internet behaves better, so long! Oh and my Messenger. Sorry if I frequently stop talking to people abruptly.. It's my internet.

Please disregard all grammatical and spelling errors - there're concept boards to be done up, upholstery fabrics to be felt, names of floorings to be memorised, and a blueprint to be drawn. And OC season 4 to be watched.