As I Lay Dying

I just applied for dorm housing in SF! It's a loserish/exciting thing to do isn't it, living in a dorm. Living in my own apartment is just too expensive, I think. I don't have that kind of disposable income (yet!) - wait till I get rich on my artist income. Just you wait. This actually poses a bit of a question mark since I have been asking all friends to come on and visit (although I'm not even there yet). I'm positive I'll like it though. When I get there and get to know more friends, ugh what am I talking about, I mean get to know any friend at all, then I probably will look for an apartment and share it with friends. Which means that you guys can come visit me by next year. Yes, I'm that sure of my social skills and I'm even surer that you guys are coming to visit.

There are so so many things that I am going to have to do before I move, and I haven't done any of it. Actually more specifically, I have a lot of purchasing to do. Bed linens, a portable computer, er, and stuff. I am flying 23rd Aug Singapore time. Fast forward approx. 23 hours flying time and I arrive 23rd August SF time. Soon! In 1 month I will have a new life. Well not new. Just modified and I hope, improved. (Sidetrack: I am losing my train of thought -and my mind- because the office radio is playing Mirror Mirror by M2M).

So where was I. Yes. You all must come and visit sometime. I already know that I'm gonna miss you guys. I've made certain pacts with certain friends - such as a certain substance abuse party (JOKING!) and a certain Summer programme in a certain country in a certain continent with a certain friend. Also, a certain friend says she will visit when she saves up enough money - nearly died when she found out a round trip ticket costs about 2000 bucks. But, really, SF is a "culturally diverse city that has not completely broken free of its bohemian heritage, making it one of the best (and expensive) cities to live in the United States". Someone famous once said that.

Oh wait, I did. HAHAHAHAHA

My sister and her boyfriend are in Jakarta right now. Bet they purposely didn't want me to come along cos she is ovulating right now. (JOKING OMG!) Okay I know I'm crude and all. I just have to entertain myself. I still haven't found my writing groove yet - assuming I had one to begin with. I haven't even been writing in my journal. I don't even know how to explain it here. It's almost like I am afraid to open my journal and see all those Polaroids of us laughing and smiling happily, and read what I felt a few weeks, months ago. It all seemed like so long ago. I just don't want to document everything I know and I am familiar with slipping away. If such an expression is permissible in this context. I think somewhere in the Freudian realm of my mind, doing as such, or rather not doing as such (writing), I expect that in the future I don't have to recall how I detached myself so easily, voluntarily.

I think that's enough revelation for one day. I hope you don't get the sense that I'm betraying you.

So for now, I hope everyone knows I love you all. (Thank God I stopped here right? This is beginning to sound like the letter Paris wrote when she was in Lynwood).